I am not expert when it comes to relationships. I wrote this while I was thinking of those aged but immature men (when it comes to this issue) who are courting women whom they don’t really know. Well, I am only 24 years old, single, was dumped and played. My heart has been broken but thank God, it is now fixed. Additionally, I have friends who are married, separated, broken-hearted, engaged and single. I think I already have enough experiences to share to you my thoughts about this.
Friendship, Love, Courtship and Marriage or FLCM. It’s one of the topics in Footstep of Christ Love Illuminates Every Soul program. I was sold in this idea and it became one of my principles in life. I realized that FLCM is important, very important. I think one of the reasons why there are lots of broken hearts is because people just jumped up to courting stage, or worst, to marriage, without knowing the other person very well.
Friendship. It is important to start in this relationship. We have many friends; funny, serious-type, crazy, happy-go-lucky, simple, supportive, godly, loving and sometimes irritating friends. No one can live alone. We need friends to stay happy and alive despite all our troubles in life. They add at least 3 or 4 colors to our rainbow lives. They make us laugh, help us in our problems, teach to be patient and irritates us through their unending teasing.
But don’t you know that it is best to find your one true love from your friends? Many times, friends start to have this ticklish feeling inside their hearts for their friend. Love develops when friendship is already established. As the friendship grows, love ripens.
Love. Believe me or not but there is no such thing as “Love at first sight.” That’s for immature ones who are attracted only with the physical appearance of the person. Love takes time. If you are attracted to that person, make some effort to be his/her friend and soon you will learn to know that person very well and then have your heart test if you love that person or not. Again, never jump up to another stage without passing the other one.
I know it is common to feel something special to one of your friends (If not just one, you are in trouble. You should pray harder). Maybe that person possesses a good personality. Maybe he preaches well, leads or sings well in the church. Who will not be attracted? Now, the question is, are you in love with that person? So how do you know if you really love that person? Talk to God and ask Him if that person is the one of you. He will surely give you an answer. If God says yes, then go! He already gave you a go signal.
Courtship. Some men just court their friends (or their friend’s friend) without asking themselves and God if that person is the right one for them. I know a person who courted his friend and when that girl rejected him, he courted another friend. It destroys the friendship. Be careful, be prayerful, and don’t be so playful!
When God says yes, it doesn’t mean that you will never give much effort and you will never be hurt. You still have to pray harder and exert more effort. Gentlemen, if she accepts you, you should not be relaxed and stop courting her. A woman needs to be pursued always. Ladies, don’t think that he is in relationship with you, you have the right to own, nag, change him or demand whatever things that comes to your mind. That’s an abuse!
Courtship is a preparation for those who are considering marriage.
Marriage. So this is the last stage and it is not a joke because it is forever. When both of you decided to get married, you should consider many things. Your work, house, children, budgeting and many more!
Marriage is not the end of your love story. It is a beginning of a real one. Husband, still, should never stop courting their wives. Always be sweet and romantic. Wives, also, even if they have the right to their man, should never nag and demand unnecessary things. It is not just about you and him anymore, it is about your family now.
Cliché words. “Are you sure? You don’t really know me. Do you know FLCM? The Friendship, Courtship, Love and Marriage? You skipped the 2 stages. I tell you, you better stop wasting your time and load because I will never say ‘yes’ to a man who courts a woman without love. My principle about this will never be changed. Sorry for the harsh words.” I have said these words for quite a few times already.
I hope when they read this they will realized that friendship is very important, love takes time, courting is not a game and marriage is not the end of a love story but a continuation of a young love and beginning of a full-blown love that must last forever.