Unrealized Dream

[Written August 26, 2013]

Dressed in executive attire with high heels and nice bag; that’s the look I always want since college.  I want to be one of those who always walk fast in the morning going to their offices holding their favorite Starbucks coffee. As graduate of Bachelor of Science in Commerce and as a former president of College of Business and Management Education, I dreamed of something big and I was so confident to make that dream come true.


As I was sitting at All Seasons Place in Bangkok, I see these people like those I have seen in New York (In the movies, of course. FYI I’ve never been in NY.) They all look great! To work in a place like this was my dream! Men in suits, women in nice executive dresses! Wow!



But… reality check! I am sitting here at the Starbucks Coffee inside the All Seasons Place, waiting for my visa to be released.  A visa to Italy where I will work at the kitchen and clean the school. This is so much far from my dream but…


The Reason Why

[Written August 19, 2013]

I love Chiang Rai, I love my work, I love my workplace, I love everything here. My salary is okay, I have a stress-free work, my students are lovely and I have friends. It’s a nice place to stay. The city is not crowded and very peaceful. I eat and buy what I want but why should I leave?

I stayed in Chiang Rai, Thailand for 15 months. My family is in Philippines and my boyfriend is in Italy. I went back to Philippines 3 months ago and now I’m going to Italy.

I have been thinking a lot since I was accepted in Italian Adventist College as a volunteer. What were my motives why I have to leave my comfortable life and go to Italy where I have to work hard as a volunteer? First, I didn’t think of anything before but just my boyfriend. I just want to be near him. That’s all. (I am not obsessed, okay?) But before I applied for my visa, I realized that I also need it for myself. I have been so relaxed in my faith. My relationship to God became cold. You know, when your family is happy, your work is better, when your boyfriend loves you and when you get what you want, what else do you need? It’s been awhile since I prayed wholeheartedly to God; that kind of prayer when your knees get hurt and your eyed get wet after praying. When was the last time I talked to God like that? Hmmnnn… maybe 2 or 3 years ago. IDK. That feeling when you really really need God in your life, I want to feel that again. I want to need Him. I have an easy life here, I should leave this comfort zone.