[Written August 19, 2013]
I love Chiang Rai, I love my work, I love my workplace, I love everything here. My salary is okay, I have a stress-free work, my students are lovely and I have friends. It’s a nice place to stay. The city is not crowded and very peaceful. I eat and buy what I want but why should I leave?
I stayed in Chiang Rai, Thailand for 15 months. My family is in Philippines and my boyfriend is in Italy. I went back to Philippines 3 months ago and now I’m going to Italy.
I have been thinking a lot since I was accepted in Italian Adventist College as a volunteer. What were my motives why I have to leave my comfortable life and go to Italy where I have to work hard as a volunteer? First, I didn’t think of anything before but just my boyfriend. I just want to be near him. That’s all. (I am not obsessed, okay?) But before I applied for my visa, I realized that I also need it for myself. I have been so relaxed in my faith. My relationship to God became cold. You know, when your family is happy, your work is better, when your boyfriend loves you and when you get what you want, what else do you need? It’s been awhile since I prayed wholeheartedly to God; that kind of prayer when your knees get hurt and your eyed get wet after praying. When was the last time I talked to God like that? Hmmnnn… maybe 2 or 3 years ago. IDK. That feeling when you really really need God in your life, I want to feel that again. I want to need Him. I have an easy life here, I should leave this comfort zone.